The Music Slut


19.10.05

i hate/heart the strokes... or, how i was almost an mtv star!

STORY TIME!!



ok, so on wednesday of last week i was web surfing at work (shock!) and i noticed there was a casting call for the new strokes video (for 'juicebox'), amongst '70 year old socialites' and 'cab drivers' they were looking for real life gay couples who were willing to AGGRESSIVELY MAKE OUT ON CAMERA. i considered if i should send in a photo of billy and me...oh, for about .23 seconds.

knowing full well that this posting was all over the internet i figured our chances of hearing back were slim to none. then on thursday morning i get an e-mail... from 'steve from the casting company'. he wants to see billy and i because we are perfect for the video, but we must DRESS EAST VILLAGE HIPSTER, he emphasized that about 7 times. i scream and consequently get awkward looks from my co-workers. i then proceed to tell them that grandpa won the lottery. they need not know about my 15 minutes yet!

anyway, i consult wit' ma man and we decide to go to the shoot. we get there just in time to see the 70 year old socialites. i've never seen so many women who resemble joan rivers in my LIFE! nearly 20 women are auditioning for this role... one is worse than the next... we're talking big costume jewelry, 6 inch heels and piles and piles of make-up. billy and i laugh, as do the other fags waiting for the 'gay couple shoot'.

next up is the cab driver role. not much to speak of. about a dozen chubby balding white guys getting their polaroids taken. billy and i and the other fags laugh again.

then, our turn!

they call our name and we shimmy down the aisle, and get our pictures taken to attach to our sheet we had to fill out (which included age, weight, height, eye color, agency affiliation). i of course, answered honestly, 19, 125, sky blue and elite modeling. GOTCHA! seriously though, we tell the truth.

there are 5 groups of gays. actually only 2 were 'real couples' while the others met right there and were ready to make out on que. sad or hot, i'm not sure.

we're the 3rd couple in line.

we finally get in and are sooo excited!

the director and his people are in the room as are the dudes videotaping the whole thing.

they tell us to literally start making out 'as if we were single and leaving the hole drunk at 3am'. for those out of the loop, the hole is one of the sluttiest gay bars in nyc. i think you can literally get clamidya by sitting on the barstool. but anyway, we're like, err, ok.

we back into opposite corners and tear at each other.

i'm talking moans, ripping at each other's clothes, throwing each other against the wall and touching everywhere. after about 30 seconds, they say thank you and we leave.

at this point i am out of breath, shirtless and weirded out. i feel like i was just in a G rated porno. ok, maybe pg-13.

as i anxiously await a call... an hour goes by, a night goes by, a day goes by.

i realize finally that we are not getting the call back. grrrr

i would just like to know how much more aggressively we were supposed to make out!

when you see the new video on mtv, please throw something at the screen when you see 'the gay couple', knowing that it very well coulda been your musicslut, matt.

sigh.

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3 Comments:

Blogger JK said...

Wow, talk about being a slut for music. Brilliant Matt. Sorry you didn't get it but at least you got to make-out in front of strangers!

4:59 PM  
Blogger m said...

this much is true.

it was surreal, awkward, exciting and frustrating all in one.

12:02 PM  
Blogger m said...

linked on THE MODERN AGE, BROOKLYN VEGAN, and PREFIX MAG!

jeezus, i didn't think my story was that good.

3:15 PM  

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